To the guy who changed my life...

An open letter to the guy who changed my life…

I believe you had good intentions in the beginning. You really worked hard to gain my affection, and my trust. You won me over. Of course, you were charming, I fell for it. We dated. You won me over. We had a ton of fun times and great laughs. We were an undefeatable pair for a long time. Even at times near the end, we still had some happy times. We even kept God as the basis of our relationship, which we always said was top priority. You were amazing. I thank you for that. Underneath everything, I know you still are. But things changed for us. You began to control me. You slowly made my life revolve around you, and I let you. I stopped associating with majority of my friends and I began to treat my family different. I’m ashamed to admit that I even turned my back on God. We began to fight, and they got nasty at times because of my accidental mistakes. When I was at my weakest, you pushed me down even further. At times, you made me feel empty, and uncared for. At times, you dragged me down. Yet I always took the blame. I was led to believe everything was my fault, and that I deserved this. You taught me many things throughout the course of our relationship. For most I thank you. For few, I was angry with you about. While you impressed me with your personality, you upset me with your jealousy. Your jokes with your hurtful slurs. While you were kind and loving, you also got mean when things didn’t go as you had planned. You pretended to get better, and I fell into your trap every time. I became needy. Needy for your love and kindness. Needy for your affection. Needy for your constant approval. I looked to you so I could see what I could do to make you happy and did not worry about my happiness. Instead of turning to God, I turned to you. Now, as an outsider looking in on our time spent together, I realize what people did long before me. My feelings were putty in your hands. Yet I longed for you to change. I wanted to believe things could get better. They didn’t. Nearing the end, your care for me and us began to waver. You gave up. I was devastated. You made me feel worthless and unloved, something I still struggle with now. But, now I see where my relationship with God now stands versus where it was. I thank you for unknowingly showing me that. 

Christ gave His everything for us and in return I was selfish. I cared about your thoughts and feelings more than my own faith. I became blinded. I am thankful God’s grace allows me to be forgiven, because I know I was in darkness. I have worth and I am loved. God loves me so much that He allowed His Son to die for me. 

{So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. – Genesis 1:27} 

{The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life. – Job 33:4} 

{Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows. – Luke 12:7} God has shown me that I am worth something

{“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16}

{He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. – Isaiah 40:29}

{The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? – Psalm 27:1} With God as my light, I shall fear nothing. With God as my strength, I shall fear no one. 

{The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. – Psalm 18:2} I began to depend on God again, and I received so much comfort. God is my rock. 

{Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:11-13} I firmly believe God knew I was struggling, and He helped me endure the pain I’ve felt so long. God gives me strength, even on my weakest days. 

{Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. – Ephesians 6:10}

So thank you. Thank you for incredible moments in my life and memories I will never be able to forget. Yes, I’ve already forgiven you. I hold fast to the happy and let go of the bad. While it may have hurt, thank you for knocking me low to my knees which put me in the perfect position to pray and begin my growth as a Christian again. Thank you for making me realize that my relationship with God is what matters most. I strive to better myself daily as a Christian, and to try and influence others to the best of my ability. 

The girl whose life you changed for the better

{Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. – Philippians 4:4}

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Rachel Garrison is a sophomore at Freed Hardeman University majoring in Special Education. She attends Atwood church of Christ. Rachel volunteers with the Special Olympics organizations in West Tennessee, and is an active member in her social club, Phi Kappa Alpha! She loves to blog about things that relate to teenagers and adults alike!

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